My Top 11 Cheesiest Movie Moments (That I hate to love)

1. Love Actually

Before the whole zombie apocalypse thing happened, Rick fell in love with his best friend’s girl. (Walking Dead reference) So what better way to let her know  than to show up one night pretending to be a caroler holding cue cards with possibly the cutest things any girl could hear…er…read.

2. Jerry Maguire

Nothing like a grand romantic gesture in the middle of older women talking shit on the male race. ‘You complete me?’ “You had me at hello?’ UGH SO MUCH CHEESY GOODNESS I MIGHT BARF.

3. Pretty Woman

If you don’t already know this scene you probably also still live in your parents basement with your pet cat who keeps you warm on cold Saturday nights, harsh but true. Ah, the old ‘I’m in luv wit a stripppppper’ takes on a whole new meaning. Also, is it weird I find that man incredibly attractive?

4. 10 Things I Hate about You

Fellas take notes. Kanye Imma let you finish but Heath Ledger had the greatest serenade of all time.

5. Friends with Benefits

1.)But why isn’t my life like this….
2.)Like how freakin cute is JT in this?!
3.)Where can I sign up to be in a flash mob…?
6. A Cinderella Story

Gahhhh! Austin Ames you silly boy how could you not recognize her at the dance?! Oh well, after this scene I’ll forgive you. Of course the drought ends right as they kiss, gotta love unrealistic movie moments. Why wasn’t my high school experience like this…and why didn’t the boys look like Chad Michael Murray…

7. 27 Dresses

See girls can make grand romantic gestures too.

8. Tangled

This movie is definitely up there on my list of Disney faves. Anyone else remember that line, “you’re my dream now.” Animated characters are steppin up their game. Rapunzel played hard to get in that tower, but eventually she met the right guy who would take her for a walk on the wild side, and teach her how to let her hair down. (ha ha…) Bottom line, these two were both willing to die for each other…presh.

9. When Harry Met Sally

It’s probably bad that I love this scene but haven’t actually watched the entire movie… I can recite this word for word though somehow.

10. The Notebook

Okay, I originally wasn’t going to put any scenes from The Notebook on here because truthfully, I hate that movie. But, I do love a few select scenes. I mean I’m not completely heartless and I am a girl so I’ve just been programmed to like sappy stuff like this.

11. He’s Just Not That Into You

This movie is like the Girl Code bible. I’d watch this with my friends and we’d pick out which hot mess of a girl we were. I think every girl has a little GiGi in her though..and she got a happily ever after so there’s hope, right?

7 Things I am Thankful For (That I can’t say at the Dinner Table)

Let me begin by stating that I am not at all a fan of Thanksgiving. Turkey is gross and football bores me. But my least favorite part comes when you’re gathered around the table and forced to say something you’re thankful for. Maybe it’s just my family, but they judge whether or not your answer is good enough…which of course mine never is.

“I’m thankful for my family.”

“No Emily you can’t say that Adam already did.”

“I’m thankful for the food on the table.”

“It’s a sin to lie Emily, look at your plate it’s just corn.”

“Well maybe I’m thankful Mom at least made me corn so I didn’t starve?!”

Anyways, here are the things I am actually extremely thankful for but would only say at the dinner table if I had a death wish or wanted to be excused from the table indefinitely.

1. Alcohol

I would’ve put “In no particular order” at the beginning, but I mean, this could be number one. I probably wouldn’t even make it through a family function without pregaming by myself in my room first. It’s a miracle my parents never noticed the giant box of Franzia sitting on my dresser…in plain view. That is divine intervention my friends. God wants me to be happy.

2. Sex

A tie for first? I don’t think I really need an explanation here. But virgins…sex feels like how chocolate cake tastes. So stop dieting.

3. Kelly Clarkson

Ugh, ma girl. Arguably the Breakup song queen (right up there with t-swift only Kelly is way more of a bad ass) Since U Been Gone was and will forever be my anthem anytime I hate a boy.  That guy who I maybe-sort-of flirted with two minutes ago is talking to some other girl?! SINCE U BEEN GONEEEEEE. Kelly makes you want to go through a breakup just so you can dance around in your underwear while you burn your ex’s pictures..or perform voodooo…or whatever it is girls do these days.

4. Instagram

Jump starting my modeling career since 2012.

5. Construction Workers

Sure, I’m grateful for their service fixing roads and what not but I’m more grateful though for the fact that they all seem to love whistling at girls. Now, some girls hate cat calling, and respond with “ew, pigs.” I am not one of those girls. This one time I was walking back from my then-boyfriend’s apartment after about 2 days of partying. I hadn’t showered, I was rockin the outfit from the day before, and I’m pretty sure I just resembled the girl from The Ring. But these four workers all looked at me like I was Eva Longoria.  And is it so absolutely terrible that that boosted my self esteem for the day? Shout out to creepy construction workers..keep doin you.

6.  The Squirrel Whisperer 

Okay, everyone knows who I’m talking about right? This girl makes custom hats for the squirrels on campus. I personally hate the squirrels because they have some sort of vendetta against me. (This one actually threw an acorn at me and just stood there like ‘what are you ganna do about it.’) So yeah eff the squirrels, but I’m thankful for people who aren’t afraid to be themselves…even if that means fraternizing with the enemy.

7. No Shave November

I never used to be into facial hair but for some reason I’m really diggin it this year. Maybe it’s like a sexy werewolf attraction.

jake-gyllenhaal-scruffy-medium-hairstyle-facial-hairoh hey there Jake.

10 Types Of People I Will No Longer Date

a couple of these in particular

Thought Catalog

Bridget Jones, who I am apparently becoming (sans the two handsome suitors), aimed to stop dating “alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts.” I’m going to add a few more to that list.

1. Bad kissers. This includes those who make out with portions of my face other than my mouth, drool on me, or bite my lip so hard that it bruises/bleeds (I don’t want to explain to my roommates in the morning that no, I did not get into a fight). If you’re in your 20s, there’s no excuse.

2. Guys who don’t volunteer to perform oral sex within the first few sexual encounters.

3. Guys who are bad at oral sex and don’t bother to ask for direction. Actually, even if you’re relatively competent or “your ex-girlfriend liked it,” you should still be willing to take direction. Again, if you’re in your 20s…

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How It Feels To Have Sex After You’ve Been Raped

Thought Catalog

During the time in my life in which I was violently raped, I was also very much in love with someone. Being robbed of your emotional stability really makes you hang onto people, and so I did.

I didn’t realize that I was raped, and I wouldn’t use that term for it for many months to come. I thought I didn’t say “no” loud enough. I thought his fist down my throat to keep me quiet was some kind of weird fantasy role play. He told me I was beautiful, and that he couldn’t control himself. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have worn that dress, and maybe I should stop wearing makeup if I tease people like this. I believed this. 

So when I went to the apartment of the man I still loved not too long after that, he touched me, but he touched me in the way…

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