23 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You (Because He’s a Zombie)

Thought Catalog

1. He never introduces you at parties, because he lost the ability to articulate full sentences or coherent thoughts after the plague overtook his body. But the real question is: Does he still care?

2. He never cuddles at night. Close contact aggravates his flesh wounds and makes his bones crack. You sometimes feel like his skin actually recoils at your touch, but that’s just the maggots crawling. He’s just so hard to get close to these days.

3. He never texts you because his eyes rotted out years ago. You know not to take it personally when he doesn’t get back to you, but you can’t help it. Communication is too important to take lightly. That’s a dealbreaker, ladies.

4. He doesn’t kiss you back. He can’t because he doesn’t have lips — or a jaw. However, if he loved you, he would show you he cared. Love conquers…

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