If he loved you he would care that he hurt you.

Say it again.

Say it again.

He would care.




“You didn’t leave a note. I thought we had plans; I waited up for you to get home.”

“You know what? You worry too much,” she said, running her fingers through his thick dark hair.

“You should have left a note.”

“There was nothing I could write; nothing I could say that would make this easier for you. And I’m sorry for that.”

With his head on her chest he looked up at her, knowing this was it.

“But darling,” she said with the faintest smile “it’s so beautiful here. And if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that nothing- not time or distance or human mortality- can change the way I feel about you.”

Her sleepless dream ended with the sound of his alarm.

Toby stood near her, wiping a silent tear from her porcelain complexion.

“These fleeting moments aren’t enough.” she whispered.

“…and if you’ve ever loved anyone the way I loved him, I bet you’re missing them too.”

-an excerpt from a book I’ll never finish

A Hospital For Souls

“Will I always feel this way?”

He moved closer, and she didn’t know whether to feel anxious or relieved.

“You will if you stay. But you don’t have to stay here; you don’t have to be sad anymore.”

Without another word he placed the razor in her hand, the chill of metal all too familiar.

“I don’t want to be sad anymore.”

It’s summer. I must be in about first grade because I am sitting on the driveway of the old house on Park Street. The swingset my Dad built is just as I remembered it- two swings and a bright yellow slide. When I was a little girl I’d climb to the top and pretend I was a princess locked away by an evil witch. My mother would yell out to me to change into different clothes, but I insisted on wearing a dress and my finest jewlery. (Which I took out of the game Pretty, Pretty, Princess) I looked down and found, to my surprise, the bracelets on my wrists; purple and blue and pink just like my favorite dress. I walked toward the wooden playset, slowly tracing my fingers over the intials I had carved in the side. Beside them, a pair of letters unfamiliar to me.

-an excerpt from a book I’ll never finish

I still want to die most days
There’s no denying that
But dying is a huge commitment
And I’ve never been good with those

“But can’t we start over?” She asks, her eyes pleading with his. “We’ll laugh at the same jokes, rewatch the same movies, and we can relearn everything about eachother”

He paused before letting out a sigh. It’s not that he hadn’t thought about it; he thought about it all too much.

“I just can’t let this go. And I’m not sure if it’s because of the memories we shared, or if our story feels incomplete,” she continued, “but I’d like to think we hold the pen. I need to believe we can rewrite a new ending.”

It hurts me even more because I can’t change what happened to us.

And I’m afraid one morning I’ll wake up and realize it’s been twenty years

And that I still miss you.

And maybe I’m just lonely. Or maybe I’m lonely for just you.

And your absense suffocates my hope in this love, but I’ll use my last breath to say it’s you.

It’s always been you.

The Quintessential Boyfriend Checklist, And Why I’ll Be Alone Forever

Thought Catalog

It’s 9pm. I pour a glass of the always classy boxed wine Franzia and drop my pants to the kitchen floor because, well, I can. Ah, sweet freedom! My Netflix is all queued up and ready to go, and I’m pretty sure I smell like the SexPanther cologne from Anchorman but what do I care? I’ve got no one to impress but my dog! (Who happens to be pretty into animalistic scents himself.)

I thought this sort of night was common for a girl my age. Then again, I also thought gum took 7 years to digest. It appears I was wrong on both counts.

As I wait for my serial killer doc to load I absentmindedly scroll through my newsfeed when I couldn’t help notice not one, not two, but THREE of my friends newly engaged. By friends I mean Facebook friends of course; I’d hope my real friends…

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I find it hard to Breath,
When I sleep at night you haunt me inside my dreams…
Inside my dreams.

Look at me, In my eyes.
And tell me that you feel nothing inside.
Cause I can’t wash you off my skin…
But I can’t see you ever again.

So I’ll forget I love you,
Don’t want you anymore…
I’ll keep on lying to myself, cause we could’ve had it all…
And you should keep pretending that I’m only just a friend,
Can you look me in the eyes and say that it’s worth it in the end?